hanging by a moment

[harrison oliver roberts]

It seemed like ages since Harrison first literally ran to the hospital from his apartment after his mother had called after he got home from work that night. He hadn't thought about taking a taxi or driving- there was no way he would've been able to drive in the state he had been in anyway. Before his mother had called him to let him know his father was in the hospital, he was in the chat talking to Brynne and some other people, like any other night. When he left that chat he seemed oblivious by all- except Brynne. She had called because she felt something was wrong. He didn't remember answering the phone or what he said to her because the next thing he knew he was at the hospital and she was by his side, being there for him as he had been there for her all those years ago when it was her father in the hospital.

Harrison thought he would argue more about stuff that was said, but he couldn't argue when everything said made sense to him and was able to own up on it. And when he said that he couldn't see his father in the state he was in now, he knew he had to even as Bee was telling him so. The idea of facing him alone was something he couldn't handle, so he asked her to come with him.

The two made there way towards the ICU and Harrison made a stop at the desk to ask what room his father was in. After he gave his name, the secretary behind the desk pointed towards a room on the left. "He's in two twelve, but only the intermidiate family is allowed in, she'll have to wait in the waiting room," the secretary replied. Harrison glanced over and met Bee's eyes before looking back at the nurse. "She's with me," He murmured quietly. The nurse stacked a few papers together and tsked before speaking. "Hospital policy, I'm sorry I can't let her go in the room with you, but she can wait outside the door at the very least."Harrison nodded his thanks, not wanting to argue at this point. This was what the two had discussed already, and it seemed like all of his energy had been drained out. He didn't feel like himself, he felt like he was somebody else inside his body while the other Harrison he usually was was trapped somewhere, unable to get back.

Harrison glanced around at Brynne again before heading towards the room the nurse secretary had pointed towards. Sure enough, he saw his father's name on the chart outside, he made himself not look in yet. They stood outside the door before Brynne spoke, making him unfreeze again. "I'll just stand right here by the door." She nodded at the door, and he opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again. No words would come out. It was time to go in. He nodded quietly, wishing that the floor would swallow him or something. He was supposed to be in a hurry to talk to his unconcious dad, how ironic was that? Though at the same time, he wasn't in a hurry, he felt like a wall kept blocking him from where he was supposed to go.

Harrison finally made his way into his father's room but stopped to stare after he set foot inside. His father was lying on the bed, all wrapped up with a blanket, a breathing mask and ivy's coming out. He looked like he hadn't had sun in days, nor healthy at all. Harrison felt sick for seeing his father like this and felt like he couldn't breathe. But something inside him tugged him forward towards his father so they could meet again for the first time in a year. He tried not to think of the fight they last had before he went out of the country. The two usually never fought, but before Harrison left they had and his father hadn't liked who Harrison was becoming, his only son had disappointed him.

There was a chair next to his father's bed, and Harrison numbly sat down on it and looked down at his father for the longest time. It seemed so unreal that he was even in this state. His father was the leader in the family, and he always had been. He was the strong one, the one his mother and him went to. At least until recently. Harrison still had no idea what to say to him that would make their previous meeting better. Did people in coma even hear people talking to them? If not, whatever he said wouldn't make a difference. And what if he died? Harrison let out a shaky breath at this thought. It would still be like not saying thing at all.

Harrison finally slowly reached for his father's hand and placed his around it, hoping that he would somehow know that his son was there with him. "I'm sorry," his voice sounded hollow and quiet when he spoke to his father after seemingly long minutes."I'm sorry dad...for not being good enough or who you and mom wanted me to be. I'm sorry for who I was, and the mistakes I've made. I'm trying now to be better. I still don't know what I want to do with my life, but I'm trying now. I hope that's good enough for you." A heavy sigh was released from his lips and his head bowed down with his eyes closed. Don't die, his voice said in his mind, though he couldn't say it himself. Why couldn't he say it? He wanted to.

All he was aware of now was the machine beeping steadily and the other hospital noises from around him, though they seemed far away. Bee was just outside the door but even she seemed awfully far away now.

"I love you," he murmured quietly, before he buried his head in his hands with his closed retracing any memory that came to him spent with his dad. He didn't know how long he stayed like that for, it felt like hours or so before he felt a familiar hand touch his shoulder. He looked up, half expecting it to be Brynne, but it was his mother, looking worse than he did. They met each others eyes before Harrison got up and finally walked off, not ever wanting to leave a place quick enough. His breathing was long and hard when he looked down at Brynne."I'm done,"he said finally, unable to say anything else but that. His mind was just too clouded to form more words.

Status: Done!
word count: 1121 without codes!
Credit: Text credit goes to counting_blue_stars @ caution 2.0
Tagged: Noone, its a one post only thread.
Music: How to Save a Life- the fray... Ironic!